My Valentine

Of late my blog has been at the receiving end of most of my emotional expression. It’s high time that I connect with reality again. Let’s start with an incident which has been a source of high entertainment for my friends. It’s February, the month of love, blossoms, spring and romance. It does lose its sheen in an obscure place like Pilani but nevertheless the valentine bug does catch up with you.
Engulfed in these emotions I wrote something down. Let’s say this is the closest I have got to writing something romantic. But before I could gift it to my blog it was ruthlessly taken away from me. As luck would have it my gmail account was also accessible. Now that message has been to all kinds of places. My stupid friends seem to be savouring every moment of it.
Even in today’s world when India is at the threshold of superpower we still cling on to our primitive beliefs and styles. I can’t help but think that this entire furore was created over a little message by the so called modern educated youth of India. The whole boy girl thing is still prickly here. I have always been an avid critic of the media when they sensationalize the most trivial of matters. But now I see that they just serve what people order. Now it’s time for the desert. This is just to make this meal complete so that it could be as enjoyable to you as it has been for my friends. Here is the letter I wrote.

Hi!!
This might come as a total surprise to you but I need to tell you this. You probably don’t even know me. But the thing is that I like you. I have liked you for a very long time. I want to be friends with you. I am not a person who generally bares his feelings but it has started to ache now. I could not muster up the courage to come and tell you all this so I took the easier way out. Every time I see you my heart skips a beat.
It has taken more than plain courage to write this letter and I would totally understand if you don’t want anything to do with me. Maybe I have seen too many romantic movies or maybe I have started to believe in miracles but I just cannot live my life thinking, if only I had done something about it. Even though we have never really met I feel I have known you for ages. You are probably laughing by now at the sheer absurdity of this letter. This might seem to you as just another letter by just another guy. But believe me this is the first time I have ever done something like this and I am sure this will be the last one. I have already crossed my line but I would like to take one more liberty. The liberty to wish you a Happy Valentines day!!

aayush

A moment at a time

Life is beautiful. It’s a blend of all the colours in the spectrum. Sometimes it’s a crimson red, sometimes a brilliant blue and sometimes a mellow green. At times it looks opaque while there are times when it is devoid of colour. Of late I have learnt the art of enjoying every moment of it. But sometimes I feel it does get a bit strained. With all the competition in the world and the quest to stay ahead in the rat race, life loses its sweet taste. We try to gulp down life instead of savouring it.
There are times when I am driven by a strong urge to drop out of this stupid race. I wish I could travel like the lone ascetic, the only difference being that I would like to do it with my pockets full. Is it unbecoming of me to think in such a fashion. Am I fragile? I feel that I am missing out on the softer and cuter moments of life, moments that make life worth it. But then again they say what is life without a challenge. Quite true. It’s a catch 22 situation. You cannot run from it and you cannot embrace it. The more I try to unravel the mysteries life has to offer, the more I get stuck in the maze. So now I have decided to take it slow, a moment at a time. It’s so much easier that way.

Me and Myself

Everyday you are hit by a swarm of pesonalities. you may detest some and you may like some but you are influenced by all. Each time you try to dust off the impact, the dust settles back on you. I don't know who i am anymore. I don't recognize the person living in me. The boundaries have blurred and the demarcations are fuzzier than ever. I have lost myself in this delusional mix of identities. My soul is diluted. I don't smile the way i used to.

But not all is lost. It's when everything seems dismal and lost that i find myself battling with the faceless personas. I cry and laugh with my old smiling self. The haunting demons vanish. But when things start looking upbeat the mirage like demons return. i lose myself again and what is left is just me!!

Stolen Moments

It's amazing how lonely you can feel even when surrounded by hundreds of people. I had a similar feeling in the lecture theatre complex last week. Suddenly the outside world shuts down and all you are left with is the silence knocking against your heartbeat. It feels as if you are stealing those moments from your life. A feeling similar in nature prompted this small lyric


The fragnance of the flowers beckoned me,
the colours played and toyed with me.
The wispering winds tickled and urged me
while the compelling beauty pushed away the guilt.
I faltered and i stopped.

I stopped, forsaking my given duty,
i stopped to kiss the rampant beauty.
I stopped to dance in the rain,
i stopped to laugh in pain.
I stopped to play with childrens' toy
i stopped to share someone else's joy.
I hopped, i jumped, i skipped a stone,
i wasn't in a crowd, i wasn't alone.
I smiled for no apparent reason,
but what i had done was no small a treason.

A couple of onlookers were jeering at me.
That was when i knew i was caught in the strife.
Time had caught me red handed
and i was caught stealing moments from my life.